Success results from our actions
Actions are filtered by our feelings
Feelings are based on our attitudes
Attitudes come from our beliefs
Beliefs are purely programming
Summary of five major premises of self-talk from
What To Say When You Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D.
We are being programmed every day whether we like it or not. We are programmed by the media, other people and outside influences. The decision is yours whether or not you choose to let yourself be programmed by society or choose to program yourself by using positive self-talk.
The words you say create an image in your mind. The more powerful the picture is in your mind, the stronger the feeling it creates. Our feelings influence our actions.
For example, when someone says “banana”, you probably would see a picture of something. Maybe it’s the color yellow, maybe an actual banana, maybe a monkey holding a banana. That picture makes you feel a certain way. Maybe you don’t like bananas and it makes you feel disgusted. Maybe you love bananas and it makes you feel hungry. Maybe you think monkeys are cute and it makes you happy.
The point is our words matter.
Words Paint Pictures Create Feelings
As we said, your mind is not your friend. Your mind is designed to keep you safe and comfortable.
Our subconscious mind can be influenced in a
variety of ways, however, using positive self-talk and affirmations influences our conscious mind.
Our conscious mind has a three-step process (we call this your D.C.R.) that it follows when making decisions.
The first step is as information is presented to it, your brain asks itself “what am I aiming for?” or in other words, “what’s in it for me?” This portion of your brain we call the Drive portion of your D.C.R.
Next, your mind asks “How can I achieve this?” This is asked by the Creativity portion of your D.C.R. We intrinsically need to know how something can be done to think that it is possible.
The third and most dangerous step in the D.C.R is the Regulation portion of your brain. This is the section that is designed to keep you safe and comfortable.
It asks itself, “Am I comfortable doing this?”
According to Albert Grey, The Common Denominator of Success, the most successful people who have ever lived form the habit of doing daily what unsuccessful people do not enjoy doing. In other words, successful people are comfortable doing what most people think is uncomfortable.
When we ask ourselves “Am I comfortable doing ?” (which is anything to be successful – making more prospecting calls, following up with potential clients, doing pa- perwork, doing the dishes, reading books, working out, eating healthy, etc.).
Most of the time, our mind will tell us NO! This is why self-talk matters. Every day, we have to fight our
If you think you are beaten, you are; If you think you dare not, you don’t;
If you like to win, but you think you can’t, It’s almost certain you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost; For out of the world we find Success begins with a fellow’s will. It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are;
You’ve got to think high to rise;
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.
Thinking – Walter D. Wintle
Self-talk works both ways.
Positive self-talk can change your life in a positive way and, just
as powerfully, negative self-talk can impact your life in a negative way.
Everyone has an excuse or a rationalization on why they can’t succeed. It’s the rare individual who knows how to harness self-talk to go over, under, around or straight through any obstacle in the way. We all rationally lie to ourselves every day.
We lie to ourselves to feel “normal”. After all, if we’re not succeeding at anything in life, surely, it’s not our fault. It has to be some other external circumstance’s fault.
We lie to feel better about ourselves. That’s why we call rationalizations – rationaLIESations.
EXAMPLES OF RATIONA-LIE-SATIONS
• “It’s not me, it’s the market.”
• “I could have hit my goals if I had really wanted to.”
• “People just don’t want to make decisions at the moment.”
• “I don’t need to get new clients. I just need to farm my existing ones.”
• “I don’t need to write my goals down; I’ve got them in my head.”
• “Why should I work hard? Others don’t and they do ok.”
• “I don’t want to exceed my targets by too much. My manager will only increase my targets for next month.”
It’s amazing how every month we have excuses for not hitting our goals due to an
COMMON MONTHLY NEGATIVE AFFIRMATIONS
January – Short month affected by New Year’s holidays and everyone is busy with kicking off the New Year.
February – Shorter month.
March/April – Impacted by Easter and spring break.
May/June – The end of kid’s school
July/August – Summer vacations and holidays.
September – First normal month (though everyone is busy catching up after the summer break)
October – Peak business travel month so no one is in the office.
November – Thanksgiving break and everyone is deep in budgets.
December – Christmas holidays. Everyone is even deeper in budgets and wrapping up
“The key to success is having amazing self-talk.” – Spencer Hays
Self-talk is defined as what you say about yourself to yourself, and what you allow others to say about you, that you believe.
There is a misconception that being positive is what having positive self-talk is all about. Self-talk has nothing to do with being a positive person. It had everything to do with looking in the mirror and honestly saying what you think about yourself.
Your self-talk is perhaps the most important thing in your life. The core of your self-talk is your belief system. Your beliefs construct your attitudes. Your attitudes determine your actions. Your actions come from your feelings.
Your feelings come from your self-talk. If someone stuck a recorder inside your brain over the past 24 hours, we are sure you would agree that the things you tell yourself about yourself would be scary. Most people spend their entire lives telling themselves what they can and cannot do. And as Henry Ford said “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.”
Your self-image is directly tied to your self-talk. When you look in the mirror, do you see someone who is fat, ugly, dumb, a failure, a bad husband/wife, a lousy father/mother, a victim, a martyr, a jerk, a nag, a mediocre worker…or do you see someone who is fit, sexy, smart, a winner, the world’s best husband/wife and father/mother, someone who
will go over, under, around or straight right through any obstacle in their way? As humans,
we are programmed to think a certain way, whether we like it or not. Either you choose to give up control of your own programming and let the media, society or your friends and family program you with what you believe about yourself and the world…
Or…you take control of your self-talk and start programming yourself with the things you want to believe about yourself and the world.
If you want to take control of your self-talk, the most impactful exercise you can possibly do is to take out a piece of paper and write out a minimum of 15 positive affirmations and then make 10 copies of your affirmations and carry them with you, post them on your walls, share them with other people and, most importantly, say them to yourself out loud every day.
A simple way to change your life is to take what was previously a weakness or growth area and write an affirmation about it.
A great affirmation includes the following elements:
• First-person [I]
• Present tense [I am] or [I am becoming]
• Use powerful words that convey pictures or emotions
EXAMPLES OF POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS
• “I Am an Unstoppable Force!”
• “I can, I will, I am going to overcome any obstacle in my way.”
• “Every no gets me closer to a yes.”
• “I’m getting more organized every day.”
• “If I see more, I sell more.”
• “It’s like me to hit my goals.”
• “I finish strong because I work the numbers.”
• “I Like pressure; it brings out the best in me.”
• “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.”
• “Calm and cool, I always deliver.”
• “Fearless on the phone, 90-minutes of no distractions.”
• “Every hour gets my best, every person gets my best.”
• Write out your 15 favorite affirmations and categorize them by the time of day that you will use them. Email them to your coach.
• Put up your affirmations in your office.
• Read your affirmations at the start of every day and in between prospecting
• Continue using your Critical Success Factors Online Program to track your results.
• Review the recommended reading:
The Greatest Salesmen in the World – Og Mandino.
Post your afirmations below…..if you would like to share with group